Ne glede na reklame spodaj, tega ne bom izbrisal
Miran
The Correct Way to Come Home Drunk
Da ne bodo ti vsilivci imeli 1000 tem bom en "njihov" prispevek prinesel sem, ker je dober...
P.S. zanimivo, tematika moški-ženske vedno pali
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Quick, Get me a beer!
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, the man says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.”
The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you're going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore…”
The man sighs and says, “It’s started…”
___________________________________________________
LP
P.S. zanimivo, tematika moški-ženske vedno pali
___________________________________________________________
Quick, Get me a beer!
A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighs and gets him a beer.
Fifteen minutes later, the man says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him.
He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute.”
The wife is furious. She yells at him, “Is that all you're going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore…”
The man sighs and says, “It’s started…”
___________________________________________________
LP
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tale mi je osstal od današnjega brisanja:
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
LnasmejamP Miran
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
LnasmejamP Miran
dokler ne pridem nazaj še nisem šel
Tudi mojim letom primernih jim ne zmanjka:
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
L
P Miran
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
L
P Mirandokler ne pridem nazaj še nisem šel
miran napisal/-a:Tudi mojim letom primernih jim ne zmanjka:
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, "I have a dead pussy."
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
L
Svinjska roba.
Tega sem pa danes pobral in pobrisal reklame:
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
dokler ne pridem nazaj še nisem šel
miran napisal/-a:Tega sem pa danes pobral in pobrisal reklame:
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
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Če smo že pri vicih, tega sem zasledil na nekem forumu:
Z vlakom so se peljali Nemec, Argentinec, starejša gospa in ženska s
hudičevo dobrim oprsjem. Vsi štirje so sedeli v kupeju.
Kmalu je vlak prišel v tunel in vse se je stemnilo. Sredi tunela se je v kupeju zaslišal močen "plaf".
Ko je vlak pripeljal iz predora, je imel Nemec odtis vseh petih
prstov na obrazu.
Nemec je razmišljal: "Argentinec je poskusil gospodično
prijeti za prsi, ta pa se je zmotila in me klofnila."
Starejša ženska razmišlja: "Nemec je prijel mladenko za joške, ta pa ga je užaljeno mahnila po obrazu."
Prsata mlada gospodična: "Nemec se me je hotel dotakniti in je
pomotoma prijel ta staro, ta pa mu je užaljena prisolila klofuto."
Argentinec: "Ko bo nov predor, bom spet primazal eno okrog ušes temu
kurčevemu Nemcu, ki nas je izključil s svetovnega prvenstva."
LP
Z vlakom so se peljali Nemec, Argentinec, starejša gospa in ženska s
hudičevo dobrim oprsjem. Vsi štirje so sedeli v kupeju.
Kmalu je vlak prišel v tunel in vse se je stemnilo. Sredi tunela se je v kupeju zaslišal močen "plaf".
Ko je vlak pripeljal iz predora, je imel Nemec odtis vseh petih
prstov na obrazu.
Nemec je razmišljal: "Argentinec je poskusil gospodično
prijeti za prsi, ta pa se je zmotila in me klofnila."
Starejša ženska razmišlja: "Nemec je prijel mladenko za joške, ta pa ga je užaljeno mahnila po obrazu."
Prsata mlada gospodična: "Nemec se me je hotel dotakniti in je
pomotoma prijel ta staro, ta pa mu je užaljena prisolila klofuto."
Argentinec: "Ko bo nov predor, bom spet primazal eno okrog ušes temu
kurčevemu Nemcu, ki nas je izključil s svetovnega prvenstva."
LP
TUDI NA FB>>>KLIK
Tale je pa od danes ostal:
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting. "Wearily he reached across,
held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said:
"Then you used to kiss me". Mildly irritated, he reached across,
gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said:
"Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"
Miran
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting. "Wearily he reached across,
held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said:
"Then you used to kiss me". Mildly irritated, he reached across,
gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep. Thirty seconds later she said:
"Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked. "To get my teeth!"
Mirandokler ne pridem nazaj še nisem šel
-
miha
- Prispevkov: 415
- Pridružen: So Nov 08, 2003 3:33 pm
- Kraj: Gabrovka GPS N46° 00' ,E15° 00'
- Kontakt:
Neki vaški posebnež je imel makino, lepo vzdrževano, okrašeno s kupom pliša na zadnji šajbi, lisičjim repkom na antenci, dvema rdečima kockicama na vzvratnem špegelcu, dvema meglenkama na odbijaču in nalepko na zadnji havbi z napisom " turbo diesel gti 4x4". V oglasniku zagleda oglas za dodatno montažo električnih stekelc in glej ga junaka, čez teden dni se v sončnem vremenu vozi po vaških cestah in bzzz šajbe dol, bzzz šajbe gor.
Zagleda brkho štoparko v miniki za cesto.
Se ustavi in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Štoparka pogleda not in reče: A gressss..
Naš junak pa bzzzz, šajbo gor, da ji pripre vrat. Počasi odpre svoja vrata, gre do štoparke in jo lepo nabriše od uzadi. Z zadovoljnim nasmehom in zobotrebcem za zobmi se vsede nazaj za volan. Pritisne gumb in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Zatem pa izjavi: Smo mi šoferji iznajdlivi, a bejbi !?!
Ona pa mu lepo z užitkom odgovori: Pa mi homoseksualci tud, srček !!!
Zagleda brkho štoparko v miniki za cesto.
Se ustavi in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Štoparka pogleda not in reče: A gressss..
Naš junak pa bzzzz, šajbo gor, da ji pripre vrat. Počasi odpre svoja vrata, gre do štoparke in jo lepo nabriše od uzadi. Z zadovoljnim nasmehom in zobotrebcem za zobmi se vsede nazaj za volan. Pritisne gumb in bzzzz, šajbo dol.
Zatem pa izjavi: Smo mi šoferji iznajdlivi, a bejbi !?!
Ona pa mu lepo z užitkom odgovori: Pa mi homoseksualci tud, srček !!!
Rekli so da tu ni poti, jaz sem jih videl na tisoče !
Dobri planinski čevlji.
Dobri planinski čevlji.
)Alkohol
Učiteljica prinese v razred dve steklenici in glisto. V eni steklenici ima vodo, v drugi pa alkohol. Glisto vrže v steklenico z vodo in ta v njej veselo zaplava. Nato vrže glisto v steklenico s šnopsom, glista divje zamiga in crkne.
Nato učiteljica vpraša učence, kaj se lahko iz tega naučimo?
Janezek veselo odvrne: "Pijmo alkohol, pa ne bomo imeli glist."
Učiteljica prinese v razred dve steklenici in glisto. V eni steklenici ima vodo, v drugi pa alkohol. Glisto vrže v steklenico z vodo in ta v njej veselo zaplava. Nato vrže glisto v steklenico s šnopsom, glista divje zamiga in crkne.
Nato učiteljica vpraša učence, kaj se lahko iz tega naučimo?
Janezek veselo odvrne: "Pijmo alkohol, pa ne bomo imeli glist."
ŽIVI PESEK
Neka ženska sredi džungle pade v živi pesek. Kliče na pomoč, ko mimo pride moški.
Ženska: "Prosim pomagajte mi!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: O, to pa že ne!"
Moški gre dalje, ona pa še bolj kliče na pomoč.
Ženska: " Gospod prosim vas pomagajte mi!!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: "O, to pa že ne!"
Gospod gre dalje, ženska se še bolj dere, saj je že do vratu v živem pesku, ko pride še nekdo.
Ona: "Lepo vas prosim, tudi pof** vam ga, samo potegnite me ven!"
On: " Marš kurba," in jo z nogo potisne v živi pesek.
Neka ženska sredi džungle pade v živi pesek. Kliče na pomoč, ko mimo pride moški.
Ženska: "Prosim pomagajte mi!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: O, to pa že ne!"
Moški gre dalje, ona pa še bolj kliče na pomoč.
Ženska: " Gospod prosim vas pomagajte mi!!"
Moški: " Ja če mi ga pof**!"
Ženska: "O, to pa že ne!"
Gospod gre dalje, ženska se še bolj dere, saj je že do vratu v živem pesku, ko pride še nekdo.
Ona: "Lepo vas prosim, tudi pof** vam ga, samo potegnite me ven!"
On: " Marš kurba," in jo z nogo potisne v živi pesek.
Vito_ napisal/-a:Ej tile so bli pa že stari, ko je bil še naš Miran mlad!
Se strinjam, da ni nobene unikatnosti, prebereš začetek, veš konec (sej Matej mi ne bo zameril):D
LP
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